I have never...

I have never...

Let my kid eat dessert before dinner.
Eaten dessert, on the sneak, before dinner, then scolded my child for asking to do so.
Dropped food on the ground and picked it up and eaten it, then shouted "5 second rule!"
Let my child run through the sprinklers butt naked.
Accidentally forgotten to return my library books and then said "My kid took them to school," when confronted by the librarian.
Picked my child's pacifier up from the ground, wiped it on my shirt to get the chunky bits of dirt off, sucked off the germs and then put it back in her mouth.
Fallen asleep in her bed because it was more cozy than mine.
Peed my pants and blamed it on the baby.
Farted in the presence of someone else and blamed it on the baby.
Eaten an ungodly amount and blamed it on the baby...

I have never...

Taken my job as her Mom lightly.
Stopped loving her from the minute I found out I was pregnant with her.
Felt whole when she isn't with me.
Wished for another kid.